Co-viewing

Screens are something we do together, not something they do alone.

The rule is not about minutes but about company: if it is on, someone is watching it with them, talking about it, pausing it. This is the position with the best empirical support in the whole instrument — joint media engagement is where the language-learning findings come from — and also the most expensive in adult time, which is why few households run it past the toddler years.

What it asks of you

Not what it promises

Every approach here works for the families it suits; the useful question is what it costs to run.

  • Your actual presence, which is the entire method and cannot be delegated to the screen
  • Giving up the thing screens are most often used for — a gap in which to do something else
  • Watching a great deal of children's television
Axis by axis

Where it stands

Every position with the source it was read from, and the pale band is how much internal variation the approach genuinely tolerates. A wide band is not vagueness — it means the texts in this family really do disagree with each other about that axis.

T1How much
as little as possiblethe amount is not the thing managed

Source: The Big Disconnect

T2Shape of the rule
a fixed daily limitit depends on the day

Source: The Big Disconnect

T3Tied to behaviour
never earned, never removedearned, and taken away

Source: The Big Disconnect

W1Alone or together
watching it togetherwatching alone

Source: Digital Media and Symptoms of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

W2Who picks
the adults choosethe child chooses

Source: The Big Disconnect

W3Their own device
as late as possibleearly — it is how things are now

Source: The Big Disconnect

P1What screens are
entertainment, at best neutrala skill worth building early

Source: The Big Disconnect

P2Whether it applies to the adults
adult use is a separate matterthe rules are the same for the adults

Source: The Big Disconnect

P3Other families
holding the line whatever others donot wanting them left out

Source: The Big Disconnect

C1Conflict the household can absorbwhat your life allows
needing this not to be a fightable to take the argument every time

Source: The Big Disconnect

C2How much the week needs themwhat your life allows
rarely needing a screen to get through the dayscreens are how anything gets done

Very low: the approach is unavailable to a household that needs screens to cover a gap, because it is the gap.

Source: The Big Disconnect

Further

What to read

  • The Big Disconnect — Catherine Steiner-Adair

    Strong on why the adult's presence is the variable, weaker on what to do when there is no adult free.

  • Tap: Unlocking the Mobile Economy — Anindya Ghose

    Not a parenting book. Useful for understanding what the apps are actually optimising for, which co-viewing is a direct response to.

Compared with

Sources for this row

  1. The Big Disconnect

    Catherine Steiner-Adair, Harper, 2013. Primary text for the co-viewing and adults-included positions, and an early statement of the technoference argument.

  2. Digital Media and Symptoms of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

    Jenny Radesky et al. Used for the finding that what is on the screen and who is beside it predict more than how many minutes it ran, which is the empirical case for the content-curated and co-viewing rows.

Find out which one you are already doing

Start