Collaborative problem solving or Traditional authority?

The difference between Collaborative problem solving and Traditional authority is mostly one axis: who decides. Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Traditional authority sits firmly toward the adults decide, and explain. They agree, more than most people expect, on risk, how full the week is and doing it themselves. Neither is the correct one. What follows is what each asks of a parent, and where the difference actually shows up on a Tuesday.

Collaborative problem solving

Greene's premise is that challenging behaviour is a skill problem rather than a motivation problem, so incentives aim at the wrong thing. You list the specific situations that reliably go wrong, and then solve each one with the child — in a calm moment, never in the middle of it — until you find a solution you can both actually live with. It is the most procedural approach here and the most demanding on the adult in advance.

What it asks of you

Doing the work when nothing is going wrong, which is when nobody feels like it
Hearing your child's concern all the way out before offering yours
Letting go of solutions you already had in mind
Keeping a list, literally — the method does not run from memory

Traditional authority

The oldest position in the instrument and still the most widely held. Respect runs upward, the adults decide, and a child does not need the reasoning to follow the rule. Guidance comes from how you were raised and from the people around you rather than from books. It is rarely chosen deliberately, which is exactly why it is worth naming.

What it asks of you

Being comfortable saying "because I said so" and meaning it
Holding a position your child's school and friends may contradict
Deciding consciously which parts of your own upbringing to keep
Separating authority from the physical punishment often bundled with it, which every paediatric body advises against

Side by side

Where they differ

Collaborative problem solving is the filled marker, Traditional authority the hollow one. Widest difference first.

D2Who decides

we work it out with themthe adults decide, and explain

Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Traditional authority sits firmly toward the adults decide, and explain.

R2Behaviour or feeling

what they didwhat is underneath it

Collaborative problem solving sits toward what is underneath it; Traditional authority sits toward what they did.

D3Consequences

no imposed consequences at allthe same consequence, every time

Collaborative problem solving sits toward no imposed consequences at all; Traditional authority sits toward the same consequence, every time.

G1Where guidance comes from

instinct and observationresearch, books, a named method

Collaborative problem solving sits toward research, books, a named method; Traditional authority sits toward instinct and observation.

A3Expectation

their own pace, no pushhigh expectations, and pushing

Collaborative problem solving sits toward their own pace, no push; Traditional authority sits toward high expectations, and pushing.

G2Whose needs count

the child's needs come first, alwaysthe adults in the house count too

Collaborative problem solving sits between the two; Traditional authority sits toward the adults in the house count too.

R1Response to distress

let them work through itstep in and settle them straight away

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward step in and settle them straight away; Traditional authority sits toward let them work through it.

C2Bandwidthwhat your life allows

running on emptyhaving room for this

Collaborative problem solving sits toward having room for this; Traditional authority sits a little toward running on empty.

D1Structure

we take the day as it comesa predictable rhythm and clear rules

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules; Traditional authority sits toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules.

D4Praise and rewards

describing what is therepraising and rewarding freely

Collaborative problem solving sits toward describing what is there; Traditional authority sits between the two.

Where they agree

Usually more than the argument between them suggests.

Risk. Both sit between the two.
How full the week is. Both sit toward unstructured time, boredom is fine.
Doing it themselves. Both sit a little toward letting them do it badly, from early.
Consistency that can be held. Both sit toward the same line every time.

Neither of these is the correct one

Which fits depends on what you value and on what your week actually allows — and the second of those is the half nobody writes about. The questionnaire scores both.

See which one you are already doing