Collaborative problem solving or Simplicity parenting?

The difference between Collaborative problem solving and Simplicity parenting is mostly one axis: who decides. Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Simplicity parenting sits a little toward the adults decide, and explain. They agree, more than most people expect, on praise and rewards, doing it themselves and response to distress. Neither is the correct one. What follows is what each asks of a parent, and where the difference actually shows up on a Tuesday.

Collaborative problem solving

Greene's premise is that challenging behaviour is a skill problem rather than a motivation problem, so incentives aim at the wrong thing. You list the specific situations that reliably go wrong, and then solve each one with the child — in a calm moment, never in the middle of it — until you find a solution you can both actually live with. It is the most procedural approach here and the most demanding on the adult in advance.

What it asks of you

Doing the work when nothing is going wrong, which is when nobody feels like it
Hearing your child's concern all the way out before offering yours
Letting go of solutions you already had in mind
Keeping a list, literally — the method does not run from memory

Simplicity parenting

The diagnosis is that modern childhood is running at too many things at once, and the prescription is subtraction: fewer toys, a quieter schedule, less adult information reaching small ears, and a daily rhythm reliable enough to lean on. Boredom is treated as the raw material of play rather than as a problem to solve.

What it asks of you

Saying no to activities other families are saying yes to
Actually removing most of the toys, which is harder than adding a shelf
Defending the empty afternoon against everyone, including yourself
A rhythm you keep, since the whole approach rests on predictability rather than on rules

Side by side

Where they differ

Collaborative problem solving is the filled marker, Simplicity parenting the hollow one. Widest difference first.

D2Who decides

we work it out with themthe adults decide, and explain

Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Simplicity parenting sits a little toward the adults decide, and explain.

A4How full the week is

unstructured time, boredom is fineactivities, outings, things laid on

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward unstructured time, boredom is fine; Simplicity parenting sits firmly toward unstructured time, boredom is fine.

G1Where guidance comes from

instinct and observationresearch, books, a named method

Collaborative problem solving sits toward research, books, a named method; Simplicity parenting sits between the two.

D1Structure

we take the day as it comesa predictable rhythm and clear rules

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules; Simplicity parenting sits toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules.

Where they agree

Usually more than the argument between them suggests.

Praise and rewards. Both sit toward describing what is there.
Doing it themselves. Both sit a little toward letting them do it badly, from early.
Response to distress. Both sit a little toward step in and settle them straight away.
Risk. Both sit between the two.
Whose needs count. Both sit between the two.
Consistency that can be held. Both sit toward the same line every time.

Neither of these is the correct one

Which fits depends on what you value and on what your week actually allows — and the second of those is the half nobody writes about. The questionnaire scores both.

See which one you are already doing