Collaborative problem solving or Montessori at home?

Collaborative problem solving and Montessori at home differ most on who decides, behaviour or feeling and doing it themselves. They agree, more than most people expect, on physical closeness, where guidance comes from and whose needs count. Neither is the correct one. What follows is what each asks of a parent, and where the difference actually shows up on a Tuesday.

Collaborative problem solving

Greene's premise is that challenging behaviour is a skill problem rather than a motivation problem, so incentives aim at the wrong thing. You list the specific situations that reliably go wrong, and then solve each one with the child — in a calm moment, never in the middle of it — until you find a solution you can both actually live with. It is the most procedural approach here and the most demanding on the adult in advance.

What it asks of you

Doing the work when nothing is going wrong, which is when nobody feels like it
Hearing your child's concern all the way out before offering yours
Letting go of solutions you already had in mind
Keeping a list, literally — the method does not run from memory

Montessori at home

The environment does the teaching. Everything a child needs is within reach and their size, the day has a firm shape, and the adult's main job is to observe and not interrupt. A long stretch of concentration is treated as the most valuable thing happening in the house. "Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed" is meant literally, and it is the hardest instruction in this instrument to actually follow.

What it asks of you

Setting the house up for a small person, and resetting it as they grow
Genuinely not interrupting, including to help and including to praise
Order — the method does not survive a chaotic room
Some money, or a great deal of ingenuity, for the materials

Side by side

Where they differ

Collaborative problem solving is the filled marker, Montessori at home the hollow one. Widest difference first.

D2Who decides

we work it out with themthe adults decide, and explain

Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Montessori at home sits between the two.

R2Behaviour or feeling

what they didwhat is underneath it

Collaborative problem solving sits toward what is underneath it; Montessori at home sits between the two.

A1Doing it themselves

doing it for them while they are smallletting them do it badly, from early

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward letting them do it badly, from early; Montessori at home sits firmly toward letting them do it badly, from early.

D1Structure

we take the day as it comesa predictable rhythm and clear rules

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules; Montessori at home sits toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules.

Where they agree

Usually more than the argument between them suggests.

Physical closeness. Both sit between the two.
Where guidance comes from. Both sit toward research, books, a named method.
Whose needs count. Both sit between the two.
Bandwidth. Both sit toward having room for this.
Consistency that can be held. Both sit toward the same line every time.
Risk. Both sit between the two.
How full the week is. Both sit toward unstructured time, boredom is fine.
Expectation. Both sit a little toward their own pace, no push.

Neither of these is the correct one

Which fits depends on what you value and on what your week actually allows — and the second of those is the half nobody writes about. The questionnaire scores both.

See which one you are already doing