Collaborative problem solving or Free-range?

The difference between Collaborative problem solving and Free-range is mostly one axis: behaviour or feeling. Collaborative problem solving sits toward what is underneath it; Free-range sits a little toward what they did. They agree, more than most people expect, on expectation. Neither is the correct one. What follows is what each asks of a parent, and where the difference actually shows up on a Tuesday.

Collaborative problem solving

Greene's premise is that challenging behaviour is a skill problem rather than a motivation problem, so incentives aim at the wrong thing. You list the specific situations that reliably go wrong, and then solve each one with the child — in a calm moment, never in the middle of it — until you find a solution you can both actually live with. It is the most procedural approach here and the most demanding on the adult in advance.

What it asks of you

Doing the work when nothing is going wrong, which is when nobody feels like it
Hearing your child's concern all the way out before offering yours
Letting go of solutions you already had in mind
Keeping a list, literally — the method does not run from memory

Free-range

Children get the roaming range their grandparents had, on the argument that the world is not measurably more dangerous and that constant supervision has costs of its own. Walking to school alone, using a knife, going to the shop — earlier than is now normal, and openly. The position is as much about adult anxiety as about children.

What it asks of you

Tolerating other adults' disapproval, which is the real cost and arrives quickly
Genuinely letting go, rather than following at a distance
Accepting a higher rate of minor injury as the price of competence
A neighbourhood, and sometimes a legal jurisdiction, that permits it

Side by side

Where they differ

Collaborative problem solving is the filled marker, Free-range the hollow one. Widest difference first.

R2Behaviour or feeling

what they didwhat is underneath it

Collaborative problem solving sits toward what is underneath it; Free-range sits a little toward what they did.

G1Where guidance comes from

instinct and observationresearch, books, a named method

Collaborative problem solving sits toward research, books, a named method; Free-range sits toward instinct and observation.

A2Risk

removing the hazardletting them meet it

Collaborative problem solving sits between the two; Free-range sits firmly toward letting them meet it.

R1Response to distress

let them work through itstep in and settle them straight away

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward step in and settle them straight away; Free-range sits toward let them work through it.

C2Bandwidthwhat your life allows

running on emptyhaving room for this

Collaborative problem solving sits toward having room for this; Free-range sits a little toward running on empty.

D2Who decides

we work it out with themthe adults decide, and explain

Collaborative problem solving sits firmly toward we work it out with them; Free-range sits a little toward we work it out with them.

D3Consequences

no imposed consequences at allthe same consequence, every time

Collaborative problem solving sits toward no imposed consequences at all; Free-range sits between the two.

A1Doing it themselves

doing it for them while they are smallletting them do it badly, from early

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward letting them do it badly, from early; Free-range sits firmly toward letting them do it badly, from early.

D4Praise and rewards

describing what is therepraising and rewarding freely

Collaborative problem solving sits toward describing what is there; Free-range sits between the two.

D1Structure

we take the day as it comesa predictable rhythm and clear rules

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward a predictable rhythm and clear rules; Free-range sits a little toward we take the day as it comes.

G2Whose needs count

the child's needs come first, alwaysthe adults in the house count too

Collaborative problem solving sits between the two; Free-range sits toward the adults in the house count too.

C1Consistency that can be heldwhat your life allows

it varies — by the day, and by who is onthe same line every time

Collaborative problem solving sits toward the same line every time; Free-range sits between the two.

A4How full the week is

unstructured time, boredom is fineactivities, outings, things laid on

Collaborative problem solving sits a little toward unstructured time, boredom is fine; Free-range sits firmly toward unstructured time, boredom is fine.

Where they agree

Usually more than the argument between them suggests.

Expectation. Both sit a little toward their own pace, no push.

Neither of these is the correct one

Which fits depends on what you value and on what your week actually allows — and the second of those is the half nobody writes about. The questionnaire scores both.

See which one you are already doing